El Trollo Loco's Saturday Picks

College hoops are back. After my annual fantasy football donation (3 sacko's in the last 4 years) #Dynasty and getting destroyed on NFL sunday, its time we look forward to pay out season. 0-0 man.

Note: I promise i didn't take USC -3.5 earlier this week. 

(2 - 0)Nebraska vs. (2 - 0) Universtity of Rhode Island: 1st Half +0.5 URI

URI home opener vs. 21 Nebraska on a saturday night. Nebraska has played equally as bad opponents but has had a higher margin of victory and will most likely win the game. I think a saturday night home opener against a ranked team, a 2-0 start for URI and the possibility that Nebraska could be overrated. This has close and sloppy first half all over it. 

(1 - 1) Florida State @ (3 - 0) Providence: +1/2 Providence

This game is essentially 30 minutes away from Providence, RI and Providence has some pretty large margin wins. Florida St. to Northeastern in their last game and that says it all right there. Providence could be making some noise this year and i could see them being in the low 20 rankings at their peak this season. 

(3 - 0) Boise St. @ (3 - O) Wisconsin: -17 Wisconsin

The #3 Wisconsin Badgers at home opener. Saturday Night @ Wisconsin. #barnburner

Thanks for reading,

The 0 - 0 Man.

If you're in a huge cold streak.. paper bag dating is the answer

http://firsttoknow.com/paper-bag-speed-dating-allows-really-get-know-potential-match/

Fresh off a 3 year contract, your boy is back on the singles scene. I'm spending about 3-4 hours of my workday on Tinder and Hinge throwing all sorts of ignorant nonsense to anyone who will putout (0-10 so far) and i stumble across this. I understand that the game has changed the last three years, but we have stooped to this NYC? I've seen a lot of stupid things but this is far and away the dumbest least productive move for dudes i've ever seen. Will this paper bag hide the fact that i'm 5'7 (shorter than every person in NYC) nope. My face is all i've got, that's all i bring to the table. As non wanted men we HAVE to work off deception, thats the name of the game. This is just admitting defeat as a poor ugo's. Yeah, i may have zero confidence going toe to toe with the average dude on the street but, i will never stoop to this level. What on earth would i say? Hey my name is Joe, i'm 5'7 and i make $32,000 a year, Anal? There is no chance you can find anything higher hard 4 (Man or Women) on this dating scheme. 

With that said if this cold streak lasts another 2 weeks, i'll find my way to brooklyn and video this madness. 

"Illuminati", the Board Game, Has Some Interesting Playable Cards

The rest of them are here

I found this post while scouring the infinite wasteland known as Reddit, when I found this. If you look at the rest of the cards, honestly they are quite shocking. After some research about the game, I found out it was made in 1995 and apparently there are many different versions of the game, with playable characters such as The Servants of Cthulu, the Illuminati, among others.

Giselle just ruined the VS fashion show

Twitter was blowing up today in regards to the upcoming Victoria Secret Fashion show.
Here is a picture of Giselle just confusing the hell out of my downstairs. Idk if breastfeeding is really the kind of nudity the fashion show is targeting but either way i have never been at this much of a sexual crossroads in my life.

P.S Cue twitter live tweeting every waking second of it. I honestly think i can already predict 90% of these tweets from guys and girls.

SratHo92- My diet will start tomorrow... #VSFashionShow

JBro21- (Layup  joke about jergens and tissues)

Trolling of Wannabe Pornstars

Been awhile since I posted after taking a fap hiatus, but we're back with the latest installment of Trolling Wannabe Pornstars. This guy is the Michael Jordan of dressing down whores and works for such preeminent studios like Ghetto Gaggers and Facial Abuse as a cameraman. Words do not do him justice. We are all witnesses.

Follow the link for greatness

Giovanni Bernard is Not A Human Being

Watching this play when it happened seemed like someone grabbed a mythical controller and went Madden on this play. Brent Grimes (#21) has two chances to tackle him, at the beginning and end of the play, and falls flat his face both times. I still don't know how this play happened but I cannot stop watching it. Reminds me a lot of Marcus Allen's TD run in the Super Bowl  XVIII

Rachel Williams, Wow.

This is the best video i've ever seen on the internet.