"Illuminati", the Board Game, Has Some Interesting Playable Cards

The rest of them are here

I found this post while scouring the infinite wasteland known as Reddit, when I found this. If you look at the rest of the cards, honestly they are quite shocking. After some research about the game, I found out it was made in 1995 and apparently there are many different versions of the game, with playable characters such as The Servants of Cthulu, the Illuminati, among others.

Giselle just ruined the VS fashion show

Twitter was blowing up today in regards to the upcoming Victoria Secret Fashion show.
Here is a picture of Giselle just confusing the hell out of my downstairs. Idk if breastfeeding is really the kind of nudity the fashion show is targeting but either way i have never been at this much of a sexual crossroads in my life.

P.S Cue twitter live tweeting every waking second of it. I honestly think i can already predict 90% of these tweets from guys and girls.

SratHo92- My diet will start tomorrow... #VSFashionShow

JBro21- (Layup  joke about jergens and tissues)

Trolling of Wannabe Pornstars

Been awhile since I posted after taking a fap hiatus, but we're back with the latest installment of Trolling Wannabe Pornstars. This guy is the Michael Jordan of dressing down whores and works for such preeminent studios like Ghetto Gaggers and Facial Abuse as a cameraman. Words do not do him justice. We are all witnesses.

Follow the link for greatness

Giovanni Bernard is Not A Human Being

Watching this play when it happened seemed like someone grabbed a mythical controller and went Madden on this play. Brent Grimes (#21) has two chances to tackle him, at the beginning and end of the play, and falls flat his face both times. I still don't know how this play happened but I cannot stop watching it. Reminds me a lot of Marcus Allen's TD run in the Super Bowl  XVIII

Rachel Williams, Wow.

This is the best video i've ever seen on the internet.

This is the Ballsyest Costume Ever

Obviously this costume is super offensive. But, the only reason this costume blows is because the girl in the middle didnt put a truck tire around her neck and pose as racheal jental.

P.S How much would you and a buddy have to be paid to walk through the hood dressed as george zimmerman and Trayvon Martin ?

NFL Week 8 Preview/Picks

This week we were 9 for 11 with our picks

We here at ElTrolloLoco love the NFL. We also love gambling. Each week we will breakdown the games and pick a bet for each team, because let's face it; winning bets is an instant erection, 100% of the time.

Dallas at Detroit
Detroit -3, Over/Under 51
The game is at Detroit but I don't trust the Lions, or Dallas, for that matter. If it was straight up pick em, I'd go Dallas. However, bet on the Over as both of these two defenses let up more points than Lisa Ann has played Sarah Palin in porn

Buffalo at New Orleans
New Orleans -11, Over/Under 48.5
New Orleans at Home. I repeat New Orleans at home. I'm picking New Orleans -11. Insert Hurricane Katrina joke here.

NY Giants at Philadelphia
Philly -5, Over/Under 51.5
Philly hasn't covered at home in 11 straight games, so it may be wise to pick them here. I don't trust either team, or their defenses. I'd bet the under here.

San Francisco at Jacksonville (played in London)
San Francisco -16.5, Over/Under 40.5
Jacksonville can't get any breaks with homefield advantage or love from the bookies. In fact, Jacksonville will play once in London from now until 2016. Although betting on Jacksonville +16.5 is smart, the average score of London games since 2008 has been  51 total points. Im taking the Over

Cleveland at Kansas City
Kansas City -7.5, Over/Under 39.5
Cleveland has moved on to a new QB, again. Cleveland is that slut everyone knew in high school who dates somebody new every few weeks and is constantly getting fucked by their choices. Kansas City -7.5

Miami at New England
New England -6.5, Over/Under 45.5I was torn who to pick on this one because both teams refuse to win by more than 4 points. Tiebreaker time, which means which QB has the better WAG: Miami or New England. I'm going Gisele, foreign chicks make my dick sneeze harder than snorting a line of ground pepper. New England -6.5

NY Jets at Cincinnati
Cincinnati -6.5, Over/Under 41.5Geno Smith is the perfect Jets QB. Can't win games he's supposed to, wins games he's supposed to lose. Andy Dalton has been on fire recently, but dear god the he has the worst nickname I've ever heard (the Red Rifle.) Another tough pick; lets compare their respective slampieces. Geno or Andy?  I'm picking the Over on this game, because I don't think I'd like to be under either of them. 

Pittsburgh at Oakland
Pittsburgh -2.5, Over/Under 40.5
Honestly Im just rooting for Mychal Rivera scores to see his smokeshow sister dance again. If I was her, I would stay locked indoors with Ol' Ben the Rapist in town . This one is a crapshoot. But I'm betting smart, home underdogs against the Squealers.  Oakland +2.5

Washington at Denver
Denver -11.5, Over/Under 58
11 1/2 seems like a bit much for Denver to cover. RGIII has been heating up recently, which obviously has nothing to do with his beat wife.  You would think he could pull a little better than a soft 7, and that's a reach. I'm going out on a limb here and betting on Washington +11.5.

Atlanta at Arizona
Arizona -2.5, Over/Under 45
 Atlanta is banged up and notoriously bad against the spread (2-7 the last 9 games) and Arizona is, well, Arizona. Id' bet the under here.

Green Bay at Minnesota
Green Bay -9, Over/Under 47
There's a QB controversy in Minnesota. Josh Freeman's first start last week was awful, like he was shaving points. Pretty sure I could have had a better completion percentage. If  Freeman starts, Green Bay -9. If Christian Ponder starts, Green Bay -9. Also, lock me in for 100 dollars that one of these two eventually signs with the Browns by 2014.

Seattle at St. Louis
Seattle -11, Over/Under 43
Even though Seattle plays as about as well as the Browns on the road,Kellen Clemens starting in primetime against the Legion of Boom and the Seattle D. Remember when the Jets thought Clemens was the answer at QB? Yeah me neither. I'm taking Seattle -11

CU Boulder is Cancelling Halloween

Story Link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10401584/Offensive-Halloween-costumes-banned-by-US-university.html

CU Boulder is one step closer to fully jumping the politically correct cliff. The other day, CU sent out a campus wide email to warn students about the consequences of dressing up for halloween. In that email they blasted costumes related to ghetto people, indians, geishas, orientals, and mexicans and cowboys (is that a group of people that can be offended?)

Students at the University of Colorado Boulder have also been told to avoid "white trash" costumes and anything that portrays a particular culture as "over-sexualised" - which the university says includes dressing up as a geisha or a "squaw"

So essentially they are cancelling halloween, right? It's complete BS that they are being told to avoid oversexualized clothing. Do you understand that is about 97% of halloween as a college student. If girls can't dress sexually and show off there goodies we might as well cancel the holiday. 

In a letter, officials said: "please keep in mind that certain Halloween costumes inappropriately perpetuate racial, cultural, and gender stereotypes."

So much for my buddy and I going as Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman. 

Samsung fined 340 Large for Trolling Apple and Other Competitiors

Samsung was fined $340,000 dollars in Taiwan for trolling Apple and their competitors online and promoting anti-HTC propaganda. This is after last quarter news that Samsung had defeated Apple in total sales. Samsung and Apple are currently fresh off $1 billion dollar lawsuit that Samsung has rumored to have paid in nickels.

Apparently Samsung paid some two third-party "marketing firms" $100,000 dollars to troll it competitors. If that's honestly what you can get paid for in Taiwan, I'd be the Aaron Rodgers of trolling in that piss-hole of a country. If you do something well, you should get paid for it right?

Vodka Samm Update: "I didn't come to college to be Vodka Samm"

 



Samantha "Vodka Samm" Goudie was the prototypcial "party bitch" at University of Iowa who is deciding to hang it all up. This is of course after she blew a .341 at a UI football game after trying to rush the field and then proceeded to tweet during the arrest and while at the hospital. 

First off, shame on you Vodka Samm for turning down endorsements and the ability to be a professional party bitch on a company dime. After being hospitalized for an eating disorder (probably just a coke problem) in 2012, Vodka Samm got tattooed the phrase "Never a Failure, Always a Lesson (read: #YOLO.) "

One Liners from the video:
(After the incident): "I went into a depression."
You mean like a valley or something?


"I was tweeting from jail because my friends follow me on twitter, not the entire nation"
She tweeted at this time she wanted to get ".341" tattooed on her, also like her "eating disorder" fiasco of a tattoo. Also a Tip: if your profile is not private, you're tweeting to the entire world

"I didn't come to college to be Vodka Samm"
No one ever plans on becoming an alcoholic

(On her "eating disorder") "I just couldn't eat."
It's called being really hungover every day


Most surprising and funny thing of the whole interview: she's a political science major and wants to help the retarded.

PS Vodka Samm: If you ever give up this whole "holier than thou" charade, I would gladly eat Cheez-Its out of your snatch and marry your sweet-drunk ass.

Pope boots the Bling bishop from church

Story Link: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2013/10/23/Pope-expels-German-luxury-bishop-from-diocese

So, the new pope has been all up in the headlines. First, he says he down with the gay folk. Now, he is booting the bling bishop from the church.

The bling bishop was basically a high roller bishop with a multi million euro estate and was accused of using business funds for personal use.

Just when you think the church was finally starting to get in touch with the youth demographic they do something like this and take 3 steps back. Of course the bling bishop was using the churches money for personal use. Thats what the corporate life is all about: Living Lavishly, flying first class, and getting gucci to personally design your bishop outfit.

Pope Francis is currently investigating why the bling bishop has $31million euros. Ummmmm. duh, he has 31 million euros cause he is the fucking bling bishop. Do you think that name is just given to bishops?

Also, there is no chance in hell that this bling bishop wasn't knee deep in nun pussy. if I had that money and wasn't involved in nun orgys at least 3x a week then i would probably just return the money from whereever i stole it. No point in having that much money if you can't fuck.

Some NYU Hipster thinks he can solve binge drinking

Story Link Here: http://nypost.com/2013/09/24/the-answer-to-college-binge-drinking/

Jonathan Zimmerman of NYU could not be more wrong. You really think giving students more work will lead to them drinking less, do you even educate bro? 

Its true that social skills, good looks, not being obese are the most important points of college. Do you really think i'm spending $20,000 a year to take Gender Studies 101, no thanks. 

If you can't simultaneously bong a liter of franzia and fingerblast randos on campus and off, you probably won't succeed too much in the corporate world, thats just a fact of life. 

So Mr. Zimmerman i think you should reevaluate your outlook and realize that if you can drink excessively, pull bitches and give zero fucks about your academics, you will be much more successful in college. 

P.S I feel like the only partying at NYU is done to be ironic. Am i off base with that statement?